Poster up the wall

For months, I had an engineering drawing of a simple I.C. Engine as my PC desktop wallpaper. Starting my PC up almost invariably instilled a colossal sense of being in me, the moment the wallpaper appeared on the screen, in all its B/W glory. The sense of being a mechanical engineer in the making! Losing your virginity comes a close second to this feeling!

My romantic liaison with anything on four wheels started since my dear mother’s recollection of my childhood memories. My first 1:18 scale model, die cast metal and the works, was the Padmini 118NE. I loved it to bits and drove it on surfaces that would turn out to be the real thing’s worst nightmares! Here’s an example.

This might be the exact reason why she won’t mind when I gleefully give away my academic books as junk and turn positively territorial as her gaze shifts towards my 40 issue strong (yeah, I am proud of that!!) auto-mag collection. This might be the reason why she won’t mind when I cover the perfect, beautifully painted wall of my room (her house!) with a million dusty posters, each of which has a story behind it.

The Fisker Karma:

The newbie from the lot. Fresh out of an April issue of TopGear, this thing got pasted for the following reasons-

• -      403 bhp hybrid, 1330 torques. ‘Nuff said!
• -      If the Joker and Harley Quinn had a couple of kids and a dog, this four door(!) would be their weekend runabout!
• -      Madness never dies!

The BMW Concept 6:

I’ve got a thing, a soft spot, an Apple’s eye for everything Italian! Ducati, Aprilia and MV Agusta are the only bike manufacturers that I love (up yours, you Japs!). This German comes up trumps because-

• -      The single LED strip of a headlamp, that insane exhaust, the ‘ribcage’ beside the logo, the paint job….how could you not love this thing?
• -      There’s no visible side stand in the pic, which reaffirms my convictions about it being a Transformer, the mad Decepticon version!

The Porsche GT3:

I would have traded the Fisker in for an acid green GT3RS, such is my lust for this porn-on-wheels! The ‘ultimate version of the ultimate version of the ultimate version’ of the ultimate road going supercar (courtesy Richard Hammond, BBC TopGear.) is pure narcotic! I settled for an equally lethal looking white one…so what if it isn’t RS? It’s a GT3. And apart from the Carrera GT and the 918, the only Porsche I like.

Reasons why it ended up on my wall-

• -      This one’s beyond cool, being the only identifiable Porsche amongst the variants.
• -      Just look at it! Doesn’t it make you want to kiss the person responsible?

The McLaren Mercedes SLR Roadster:

The mighty three pointed German showed the world its funny side with the SLR Roadster. That they have a very wicked sense of humour is evident fodder for another article! It’s there because-

• -      It’s legendary!
• -      You get a feeling someone threw a truckload of molten metal on the road and the aerodynamic drag did the rest of the work!

The Lamborghini Reventon:

You thought the Murcielago was the most fearsome looking thing on road this side of an army tank, when they came up with the Reventon! Named after the bull that felled the legendary Felix Guzman, this thing is masculinity redefined. Reasons why its sits proud-

• -      It’s a Lamborghini, reason enough!
• -      They forgot to add the wings and gun turrets and made us believe it’s an F-22 Raptor.
• -      The slanting Lamborghini script, the gunmetal green paintjob, those million surfaces, that little logo on the bottom right corner…

The Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione:

If cars were literature, this one would be the most erotic page-turner ever! Reasons are passé, she’s spawned a queue of metaphors-

• -      Take your fantasy woman (mine’s Monica Bellucci) and imagine her in a figure hugging red dress (already did!). Now open your eyes, look at this pic and spot the similarities.
• -      Return to the above reason as and when you feel like.
• -      I quote myself the first thing every morning as I look at her- “If she were any more stunning, I’d have babies with her!”

The Lamborghini Gallardo:

My relationship with the Italian marque started seven years ago with this poster. The oldest and by a long shot, the best one I possess, it set a milestone regarding the way wallpaper stuff is made. Everything about it is perfect-

• -      It’s a Lamborghini, reason enough!
• -      Mad yellow on black is dream-like, and respects to the photographer!
• -      The visible A-pillar fades into oblivion, the Zorro ‘Z’ on the side, the insane yellowness which I cannot get enough of!
• -      It’s a gift from my cousin, that’s what makes it more special!

What would go on your wall? 

-Abhishek Joshi
 Revrange